Being True to Yourself
A short cut mantra to success for the young millennial.
Let me narrate an incident first. I met a young man, while conducting one of my sessions, who had just joined an organisation as a fresher. He had completed his graduation in Engineering. A bright young lad. Since he showed a lot of promise the logical question was ‘Why have you not joined for your Masters?’. His answer was “Sir, I am trying to understand myself. I want to know my true potential. I am confused about myself. I hope to understand my inner side through this employment. I plan to do my Masters’ later. I need to complete my journey first.
That got me thinking. A number of questions arose in my mind.
- What if it takes a long time to understand himself? (If that is possible in the first place)
- Will he be able to complete the journey?
- How would his motivation be after a few years?
- Would he have the will to pursue his Masters’ as he planned?
- What if he is trapped by the vagaries and challenges of life and hence drops his plans altogether?
My concern probably is - ‘would this be another bright young talented person whose potential would go unutilized like the thousands of young men in our country’.
I have been a witness, through my journey as a trainer and coach, of having seen many young people who are frustrated and depressed because they have not been able to tap into their true potential.
The question that was running in my mind was:
Is it really necessary for these young people to lose so much time to go through this journey?
Isn’t there an easier way of completing this journey?
An observation of some of the successful people reveals a very simple formula.
But lets’ first talk about the issue/challenge.
The general issue for the millennia is coming to terms with what they are vs. what they want to be. The “what they are” state is a state which the individual is not willing to appreciate. This is because the peer pressure and societal pressure of the traits and talents which are appreciated is humongous.So they tend to disown the talents and traits that they possess.
The second challenge is the goals (dreams) that they set for themselves. By analyzing the traits required for achieving those goals , they propels themselves towards acquiring traits / talents which are not innate. The arduous journey in doing thus is unanticipated. Hence it creates a conflict.
Off course they end feeling frustrated. Of more concern is the feeling they develop of being unwanted.
So the ‘Being True to Yourself ‘formula is:
1. Be realistic in your goals. In order to identify which is the most suitable goal explore the traits and talents one can do well with. An excellent way of identifying it is to reminiscence on the tasks which one would do with ease or élan and which brings joy while indulging in.
2. Accept who you are. The suggestion for how to go about with this is ‘one needs to love oneself’. Be fond of who you are. We are aware how a mother looks at her child. She sees the strengths and positives in her child. She chooses to overlook the fallacies (while goading the child towards correction off course). One could reflect on this and do the same. We should be conscious of the fact that we should not become self – obsessed of oneself while pursuing this path. This goes a long way in accepting oneself.
3. Allow yourself to flow in the path. It is seen that people tend to stop themselves from going towards what comes to them naturally since they are not willing to acknowledge it. Rather, when one allows oneself to go with the flow one would notice that you would naturally meander towards the aspects which allow you to leverage on your strengths and talents.
4. Compete with yourself. Immensely successful people like Swami Vivekananda, Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam, Ramanujam, Sachin Tendulkar, and M. S. Dhoni etc. were marked in their success because they competed with themselves. They perused the path of self enhancement and betterment rather than competing with others. The Kaizen path of step-by-step self-improvement is a natural consequence of this path.
5. Self-belief vs. self-doubt. – Don’t bother to do either. I am sure this is surprising to read. But if you think of it, if one is suggested to have self-belief you would see around the corner the self-doubt lurking. In this paradigm it would be like the darkness which is always chasing the light. So instead look at a new paradigm. Do not indulge in thinking about self-belief or self-doubt. Probably I would have to quote the Bhagavad Gita “Karmanye vaadi kaaraste……vikarmani”. Put in your effort. Do not get swayed by the result. Do what you have set out to do without thinking about whether you can do it or not and whether you will reap the benefits or not. Mind you this does not mean that your pursuance of the task should be halfhearted. It need to be methodical, strategic and well thought out.
6. Be passionate. An important aspect of being true to yourself is being passionate. Any task that is taken up should be indulged in with a lot of passion. If you are cooking, cook with passion. If you are singing, sing with passion. If you’re studying, study with passion. Ensure that you are enamored by the task on hand. Remember it is you who is doing it. You, the special person, who loves himself/herself.
7. Value system. Make your values system your radar. Ensure that you are guided by your value system in every step that you take. We are all in possession of a fantastic state of the art guided system, our values. Allow it to be in charge. It will help you to be true to yourself. The byproduct of this path is that it will ensure you are always happy even if you have not yet tasted success.
Remember a person who is True to Himself is a person who is always happy
Artcle Written by K.Sai Kumar (Trainer & Coach)